At home, it is so easy to see our spouses and partners only in terms of what we want from them, like they are objects for our use, and not ever think about what they need from us.

But when we see our partners as people, with their own needs, we are less concerned about what they are doing [or not doing] for us, and we become motivated to understand their struggles-and to help them.

This creates a spiral of goodwill and helpfulness that can make home life a delight.

When people see each other as people, they don’t engage in these battles because they don’t see each other as enemies. 

Sawubona is not about changing other people, that is not what the Sawubona is about. Sawubona changes you.

It is about you seeing others are people, not as your butlers to serve you, not as your means to an end.

When we change our perspective, we stop seeing others as objects and begin to see them as people.

Real people have their own goals and their own legitimate perspectives.

Sawubona means we begin to see people as they truly are, and we see that they have their own lives independent of our needs.

This allows us to stop feeling frustrated because we no longer see other people as “owing” us anything.

And we stop feeling angry because we can understand the reasons people behave as they do.