Care mismatch = when one party in a 2 way relationship cares more about it than the other. For example:

…when you realise your friend only calls you if he/she needs something from you.

…when you find that the sales person is only being nice to you to make the sale.

…when you cannot understand why your manager hides behind policies when you make a request for an exception that you deserve.

When you are the one always putting in the effort, at the beginning it will seem okay, but after some time, you will get tired of always being the one doing the heavy lifting while others are on cruise mode.

Care mismatch causes an enormous amount of unhappiness every day. It feels natural to expect reciprocation when we care deeply about something.

Unfortunately, that rarely happens. The more you give, the more you will realise that reciprocation is rare.

The lesson, then, is not to stop caring. It is to change why you care and to better direct your efforts, e.g. by setting limits when you don’t sense reciprocation.

Care because you want to, not because you want something back.

Care mismatch is a part of a life. Learning to be incredibly caring despite that is how we get made.

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