When two people have a heated discussion about an issue, one of three things could be happening:

  • One of them is wrong. At the moment, each of them are sure that the other person is the one who’s wrong.
  • Neither of them is wrong. They are arguing about something where right and wrong are relative, based on perspective. Or, perhaps…
  • They are both wrong. The thing is, our certainty of rightness is what makes heated arguments heated.

Given how unlikely it is that we are always right and they are always wrong, the heated part of the conversation is probably worth avoiding.

Before you can begin to work on what you disagree about, you each benefit from working on the ‘heated’ part.

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