This is what we usually say: “If I have more love/money/friendship/fame, then will I be happier?”
“If have this body, this car, this house, this bag, this… [insert what you want], then I will be happy and satisfied.”
Whenever we see “have” preceding “be” in such questions, we can be sure unhappiness is lurking around the corner.
Flipping the order, however, changes everything.
Make “be” come before “have.”
So here is how it works:
The question we would ask now is: “What kind of person do I have to be to have more love/money/friendship/fame?”
By being trustworthy and caring, it is likely we will attract love and friendship into our lives.
By being hard workers and compassionate, it is likely we will have lives that matters.
By being skilled at something valuable and disciplined in our practice and execution of the skill, it is likely we will attract the financial security we seek.
By being someone who reads, it is likely we will be knowledgeable about issues.
By being someone that’s teachable, it is likely I will have impactful mentors.
You want to have people who cares about you? Be the person who cares about others first.
And so on.
Be first and then you will have.
Be the kind of person who deserves what he wants to have and then you will likely have what you deserve.
Be that person first.