Weddings are more than just a day long party.
Weddings are about negotiations, two cultures that used to be disconnected and now connected.
Weddings are about bringing two families together.
However to it is important to understand that every time we err on the side of inclusion, of including others, the system, the wedding, works ever better.
The process of including others is sometimes fraught with ever so many messages and meanings.
One of that message in our modern culture is the message of status.
How exquisite are the rings, who is the VIP, who eats first, who sits next to the couple, who has more than everyone else, who talks on the wedding day, how is the wedding dress, how fancy is the venue, who is better, who is not better?
This has resulted in the wedding industrial complex, the magazines, the videos, the event planners, the important people, the photography, the cars.
The wedding industry has worked hard to make it, so that brides will measure each other more easily than ever before.
Who’s wedding is it anyway?
Is it for the couple?
Is it for the people coming to the party?
Is it for close family members?
Is it for couple’s business associates?
As if the insane expenses were not enough, consider the paper titled: “A diamond is forever” and other fairy tales: The relationship between wedding expenses and marriage duration, by Andrew Francis-Tan from the National University of Singapore and Hugo M. Mialon from Emory University’s Department of Economics.
They studied 3000 weddings and the found, unsurprisingly, a relationship between the amount of money spent on a wedding ring and ceremony and the duration of the marriage.
And yes you guessed it…. The relationship is: The more you spend, the shorter the marriage lasts.
A wedding and a marriage are different.
People spend more time and resources on perfecting the wedding day, the one whole day party, than they do on their marriages, something that they will spend the rest of lives in.
A product lunch and building a business are different.
Having a great business idea is not the same as having a great business.
In fact, some research shows that raising too much cash too early for startups, increases the likelihood of failure.
It is critical to understand the difference and to focus on what truly matters.