When your friend, colleague, partner has a problem, do you say:
Let me know what I can do / Let me know what you need
Here is what I want to do for you, would you like that?
Both often come from a caring and thoughtful place.
But one gently hands off responsibility for action while the other grabs responsibility for action.
The great mastery of the equation is developing the intuitive sense for what the other person may need and if it’s something you are able and willing to give, putting it on offer.
And I think it is often our awareness that we have not mastered that intuitive sense which causes us to shy away from from putting anything on offer all together.
So we gently, kindly and often without realizing it pass responsibility to the recipient.
But to develop intuition you must follow it rather than standing there second guessing it.
It is far much better to make a specific offer you can deliver, than to make an open-ended offer.
“Here I made this for you, it’s the best I can offer, I hope you it will be of assistance.”