Most people don’t listen enough. They hear but they don’t listen.
Most people tend to treat conversation like a competitive sport, in which the person who says the most, makes the cleverest point, persuades others of an opinion, or even speaks the longest and loudest is the winner.
Most people find themselves interrupting, speechifying, insisting, and coming up with witticisms, all to support their point of view or display superior knowledge.
Bragging is a mask for insecurity.
Truly confident people are quiet and unassuming. They already know what they think, they want to know what you think.
So they ask open-ended questions that give other people the freedom to be thoughtful and introspective: They ask what you do, how you do it, what you like about it, what you learned from it, and what they should do if they find themselves in a similar situation.
Truly confident people realise and wish to know more, and they know the only way to learn more is to listen more.
People with confidence listen more than they speak because they don’t feel like they have anything to prove.
Taking with quiet confidence always beats screaming with obvious insecurity.
Quiet confident people know that by actively listening and paying attention to others, they are much more likely to learn and grow.
Instead of seeing interactions as opportunities to prove themselves to others, they focus on the interaction itself, because they know this is a far more enjoyable and productive approach to people.
A good listener is someone who listens without judgment or discomfort.
A good listener asks questions, she does not give advice unless it is asked for, and she waits until the other person is finished before speaking.
Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens. Be quick to listen but slow to speak.
Something happens when you are a good listener, people start to see themselves reflected in you. They start to see that they can be their unedited selves in your presence, and your quiet confidence enables a feeling of freedom in them, which has a lasting, memorable effect.
We all have two ears and only one mouth to listen twice as much as we talk.
A lion doesn’t have to roar to prove he is a lion. Even when it purrs the whole jungle knows he is the king.