Professionals are able to get their work done without using emotion to signify urgency.

When a doctor asks the nurse for a scalpel, she does not have to raise her voice, stamp her foot or even make a funny sarcastic face. She merely asks for a scalpel.

When a pilot hits a tough spot on the runway, he is not supposed to start a rant and yelling at air traffic control. He describes the situation and gets the help he needs.

And despite what you may have seen in the movies, successful share traders do not have to start screaming when there is more money on the line.

Compare this to the world of twitter where people throw tantrums about other people, swearing and using cutting language to get someone to feel bad. In South Africa we having that saying that “black twitter streets will call you out.” In such situations it is assumed that whoever yells the loudest gets our attention. It is assumed that if you throw a twar (twitter war) and use foul language, you will get the most attention and following.

Looting, burning schools, clinics and other public buildings, throwing litter on the streets and running are ways to show your anger.

Sometimes you see them at the bank, when they don’t get a good service, they scream and rant using raising their voice using words like “I want to speak to the bank manager, this is unacceptable blah blah blah….”

We see them at the soccer match when the referee has given a decision against them, and they all charge at the referee like a pack of wolves with angry faces as if he will change his current or future decisions in the match.

It is unfortunate to see parents throw tantrums in front of their kids.

It should be clear that these people are not angry because so much is at stake. They are angry because it works. Because it is assumed that angry people get more attention because being angry means that they are probably right. Because attention is reserved in those industries for those who decide to demonstrate their emotions by throwing a tantrum.

The problem with requiring people to be loud and angry to get things done is that you are now surrounded by people who are loud and angry.

What happens if you take a professional approach with the people you work with, rewarding people who properly prioritise their requests (demands) and ignoring those that seek to escalate via vitriol?

What happens if you consistently enforce a rule against tantrums?

If you go first, by consistently rewarding thoughtful exchanges and refusing to leap merely because it is raining anger, the people you work with will get the message (or move on).

A danger of throwing tantrums is that sometimes, people throw them back and it becomes a never ending tirade.

Throwing tantrums doesn’t mean you are right. Just because you are angry doesn’t mean you are right.

Instead of taking offense, why don’t you leave it on the table and walk away… Besides what are you going to do with offense once you have taken it.

Once you take offense, you will not have a free hand to do something more productive.

Offense untaken quietly disappears.


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